My Russian Army! Wohoo!

Do you feel safe walking around in the ghettos alone? Well, of course not! Do you trust the sweet looking old lady sitting next to you to hold your wallet with hundred dollars in it? I hope not! Do you trust an obese boy not to eat a dozen donuts when you told  him not to? You can't trust anyone in the world! That's why if I ruled the world I would hire thousand of Russian spies to protect the people of "Deannaville". I choose Russians because they are the most fearless people I had ever seen. They eat raw eggs for breakfast, lived in harsh cold weather that makes them have a harsh looking appearance, and they are soulless. These fine Russian men will be keeping danger off the streets, whatever it takes. I will not question them on how they do their jobs; all I know is that they will keep my world safe from any psychos. If an old lady ties to steal money, I trust that my Russian men will do their job and finish this old lady's life faster. Don't worry about the obese boys stealing your donuts, because my men will make the fats boy run for their lives. No need to sweat about walking in the ghettos alone, my men will protect you and tell any ghetto people to get lost in their intimating Russian accent. My Russian army will keep "Deannaville" safe.