Nap Time

As you can see this adorable Chinese boy is extremely tired after a long hard day at school and from eating probably. I completely understand this boy's life. Being in school for six or more hours, with no breaks can be extremely exhausting. Teachers get upset when students fall asleep during their class, well they wouldn't have this issue if teachers would allow students to have power naps. I declare that at 12:00 PM to 1:00 PM will be national nap time hour, everyday, and in every school. Each and every student will be supplied with fluffy rainbow pillows and cuddly blanket with puppies on them, and have the choice to listen to soft classically music. Then students won't be tired and cranky, and teachers will have an easier time with dealing with students. No doubt that nap time will decrease anger issues, depression, and suicide rates. I personally think this is my best idea yet! I know that all students of "Deannaville" will adore this idea and me. 

NO more Women Jokes

"That's what she said", "that's what he said", this is what I say, "no more women jokes." Men and women are created equally; well women are made slightly better. Women are individuals and should be treated as respectable humans; God did not make women to be little servants for men. Some men might say, "How many men does it take to open a beer? None, it should have been opened when she brought it." I don't like to hear these jokes, especially this classic joke, "How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the stove." 
I feel bad for my dear blonde friends, they have the hardest. People assume that all blondes are dumb and say mean things like this, "why did the blonde get excited after she finished a jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months, because the box said from 2 to 4 years." Yes, I understand that they are funny. I admit that I giggle when I hear a good blonde joke like this one, "why did the blonde tip toe near the medicine cabinet? Because she didn't want to wake up the sleeping pills." If I hear another women joke coming from a man's mouth, I will make him eat his words (off the dirty ground). Don't you dare mess with your ruler.            

Heroes

We have thousands of heroes already, firefighters, policemen, teachers, mailmen, etc., so why would we need more? We don't need more, we just need super, super heroes I mean. I want a firefighter to be able to run through a fire, jump off a building, and save lives without dying. I want all heroes to have the ability to save the day with super awesome super powers. I will have my team of mad scientists come up with a formula that, when proctored to humans, will make them super heroes. I will do this for all modern day heroes. There will no longer be fear when a firefighter is forced to go into a burning building, or a policeman has to face a crazy gun man. Not only will firefighters and policemen be vaccinated, but I, myself, will also have an extremely large dosage of this super vaccine. I will be the strongest, greatest, most amazing super human. I will have no weaknesses, and I will be invincible. There is no need to worry or prepare for my life to pass any longer, because not only will I never die, but I will, essentially, have any and all power. There will never be a reason for someone to take my place as ruler.  

65 and Fit

My dear elders, no one wants to see your saggy butt and arms at the beach. I declare that anyone that is over the age of 65 will have to have at least a four pack. I think this will improve people from getting post traumatic stress disorder from seeing an old person with wrinkles deeper than the Grand Canyon. This will help elders have more energy, an improved sleep experience,  stable weight, improve circulation, lower blood pressure, and delay ageing. Because of their improvement in appearance, we will have elder shows. We will rate them on how fit they are on a scale of one to eleven. The top scorers will be put in a game were they must battle to the death... I suspect that this will help keep the population rate from constantly increasing. I know that this seems far fetched, but that's because it is. So what if it's far fetched, I rule the world. The elders will thank me, and bow to me because I own them.....like the wrinkly slaves that they are. 

No more Tests

Students of "Deannaville", I bring you good news! I declared that ever school in "Deannaville" will not be allowed to give students any type of tests. (No math tests, English tests, gym tests, driving tests, and many others.) When I was a student many, many, many years ago, I would get so stressed and upset for tests that I would want to commit bloody murder to an innocent puppy. It is time for a change in the school system!!! I am tired of seeing students getting stressed over a ridiculous test, all the time they put into studying instead of hanging out with friends and family! Getting rid of tests would save schools a lot of money and time to teach students more important things. I know doing this would also will help the teachers tremendously and a super stress-reliever. If I hear anything about a teacher giving students tests, then I will forcefully send the teacher to the Sahara Desert where all the people that are infected with AIDS or HIV. I personally believe that if any teacher is giving a student a hard will be tortured by my Russian army. I do not mess around when it comes to education. 

Space Babies

I know for a fact that Earth will be the most dangerous place to live, with all the pollution and high population. There will be no more room on Earth for people to live. I have been thinking, how I'm ever going to make "Deannaville" a safer place to live. Well, I can't use a huge fan to blow the toxic  air out of our planet. Then I been thinking some more, and came up with a  genius plan to send people out of Earth to Mars! I will make Mars the most comfortable and livable place to live. There will be houses, food, water, and many other things that you need to survive. Kids will go to school as they did on Earth, adults will go to work normally, and everyone will be happier on Mars than Earth.  This is how it's going to happen, my worker will go to Mars  and build homes and everything that was on Earth will be in Mars. Do not worry about the oxygen problem, my teams of scientist from all over the world is working on this issue.  I trust that they will come up with a solution quickly, so I can get everyone up in Mars as soon as possible. For those that refuse to move to Mars will die on Earth. 

No more AIDS

Do you know how many people in the world has AIDS or HIV? Well, I have no idea, and I am too terrified to know. For those dummies that don't know what AIDS are or HIV, it's when a person's immune system is too weak to fight off infections. HIV can be spread through any type of unprotected sex if one of the partners has the virus. This can happen when body fluids such as semen, vaginal fluids, or blood from an infected person get into the body of someone who is not infected. Someone can become infected even if only tiny amounts of these fluids are spread. There is no cure for this disease, yet. I cannot have "Deannaville" full of people with AIDS and HIV.  My solution to stop the spread of AIDS it to send everyone that is infected to the wonderful and mysterious Sahara Desert in Africa. Why you may ask, because the Sahara Desert is the perfect environment where no one can survive. The purpose of this mission is to keep all the infected people in an area away from the "healthy" citizens of "Deannaville". This will stop the spread the of AIDS. If any infected people tired to escape the Sahara Desert, then my team of doctors  will inject them with a medication that will give them all the STDs that exist! 

Where the Bears at?

As you been noticing Earth is in a pretty rough shape right now, Global Warming is to blame. I want "Deannaville" get better so people, polar bears, and some other animals (I guess) would be able to survive. I am extremely concerned about my beautiful, marvelous, and extraordinary polar bears. My scientists have been studying them and came to the conclusion that in 2040 all the ice in the world will melt completely; two-thirds of the polar bears will die. This is not acceptable. I will try with all my power to stop Mother Nature from melting all the ice. If I rule the world I would go in a spaceship to the sun and physically move the sun myself. Nothing will stop me from performing this operation called, "Save P-Bears". The polar bears will not be able to adapt the new climate. It breaks my heart to hear about polar bears drowning more than a child being diagnosed with an incurable disease. I understand that this might seem insensitive, but polar bears are endangered animals; humans are clearly not endangered. There is no budget; I repeat there is no budget to save my precious polar bears. 

My Russian Army! Wohoo!

Do you feel safe walking around in the ghettos alone? Well, of course not! Do you trust the sweet looking old lady sitting next to you to hold your wallet with hundred dollars in it? I hope not! Do you trust an obese boy not to eat a dozen donuts when you told  him not to? You can't trust anyone in the world! That's why if I ruled the world I would hire thousand of Russian spies to protect the people of "Deannaville". I choose Russians because they are the most fearless people I had ever seen. They eat raw eggs for breakfast, lived in harsh cold weather that makes them have a harsh looking appearance, and they are soulless. These fine Russian men will be keeping danger off the streets, whatever it takes. I will not question them on how they do their jobs; all I know is that they will keep my world safe from any psychos. If an old lady ties to steal money, I trust that my Russian men will do their job and finish this old lady's life faster. Don't worry about the obese boys stealing your donuts, because my men will make the fats boy run for their lives. No need to sweat about walking in the ghettos alone, my men will protect you and tell any ghetto people to get lost in their intimating Russian accent. My Russian army will keep "Deannaville" safe.   

Welfare... I don't think so.

My dear citizens in "Deannaville", for those who are on welfare, you are screwed. I understand that welfare is used to aid people when they are not financially stable. By the looks of it, people that are on welfare are people sitting in on their lazy butts in their trailer drinking beer or other drink products like Mountain Dew.  I don't think it is fair for those hard working people's money go to those lazy failures. If I ruled the world I would make all the people on welfare get off their worn down sofa, and find a job or get an education. Like I stated before in my previous post, "Education", people should go to college and get a well paid job. If they don't want to go to school for whatever reason, they will work in a hard labor factory. For anyone that is on welfare will be placed in a factory that is insanely hard labor, so that they can make up all the lost time that they had wasted doing nothing. Anyone that is still sitting at home watching TV, doesn't have a job, nor doesn't want an education will get a nice visit of my agents wearing black suits. I wouldn't want to mess with them; they can set anyone straight or mess up people's faces. Watch out people on welfare, I am coming to get you! 

National Deanna Day

Selfish, I am not, but yet the idea having a day every year dedicated to me is, well, excellent. I now declare that on September 9th will be National Deanna Day. On National Deanna Day people will enjoy a whole day full of fun.  I know that school and work would interfere on this great day, so there will be no school or work. Yeah! Everyone should spend their day with families and friends, enjoying having a BBQ, and playing outside. I want to remind you that this day is all about ME, so I expect everyone to bring me a present. (I prefer flowers and a truck load of chocolate or sour patch kids.) Everyone should at least come visit me once in their lifetime at my unbelievably amazing mansion. Yes, I want to see all the lovely or ugly faces of the citizens in "Deannaville". I want this national day to be celebrated for a very long time. I want to receive flowers, thoughtful cards, and candy till the day I die. I am warning you that no one can get rid of me easily, because I am not planning on dying anytime soon. I have planned to rule the world forever and ever. I will never die. Scientist all over the world had come up with a genius creme to preserve my youth for me and only me.   

Donating your blood or an organ

I bet there are a bundle of people who loathe needles or the sight of blood they faint. Well, those people better man up fast, because if I rule the world I will make everyone with healthy blood to donate. I think that it is important to donate blood or an organ to people that need. Every two seconds someone needs blood. The demand for blood is high, but not enough supply. I want "Deannaville" to be a selfish FREE world! I want everyone to be a big happy family and willing to help each other when one is going through a hard time.For anyone who donates will be declared a true hero and will receive a little surprise in their mail. (The surprise will be a cute pin that says, "I DONATED".) For those who do not have healthy blood, I'm sorry but they won't receive an adorable pin. These blood donations will be held in schools and public places so everyone won't have an excuse. I believe that everyone should donate at least once a year, so it seems reasonable.Why not be a true hero and have at least three lives.